“HEALER HEAL THYSELF ”
From the feedback received since “6 Months to Live 10 Years Later” was first published in 2007,
it became apparent that the book touched the hearts and lives of many. I wrote it with the
intention of inspiring people who are going through personal challenges in life, and for it to serve
as an open door. So please do walk through especially if you are facing what I call “a life
opportunity”, and are looking to be motivated to transform your situation into a positive one.
Challenged or not, I hope these pages will stir you.
For years I practised as a healer and spiritual teacher, dedicated to guiding others towards
transformation and self-realization, I felt a professional sense of obligation to maintain the
boundaries between myself and those who came for guidance, and was careful not to expose my
And then all of a sudden I found myself in an honest-to-goodness “Healer, heal thyself situation
when a gigantic alarm bell rang for me, and I had to ask myself the stark question:
“Do you want to live or do you want to die?”
Today, I believe I can be of much greater service by letting go of that boundary to reveal what
actually happened to me, and the path that enabled me to heal in many ways and live a healthy
happy life today.
The story that unfolds here contains the entire spectrum of human drama. From
misunderstanding, control, powerlessness and tragedy, to initiation, love, understanding,
transformation and healing. The seeds were planted in the soil of my life and as you will discover,
my reaction to this insemination created fertile ground for the confrontation and all that
For many years I was a prisoner in my own story. I held onto it so tightly denying myself the
possibility of touching the beauty, the essence of my being. By giving so much energy to the
dramatic events of my life my spirit was drained. Still, in hindsight I am thankful for all the
challenges bestowed on me. They gave me the opportunity to stretch and grow, and today I
enjoy each moment with a depth and fullness that I had not known before.
Abuse, death, loss, betrayal, and ultimately cancer were wake-up calls that I faced and then
turned into gifts. After being saturated in these life experiences I chose not to accept the role of
victim. I chose not to yield to the drama of my experiences. And I chose not to give in to the
ultimate challenge of cancer. In healing myself I did not die – at least, not according to the
conventional definition of death. But I surely did die in another way. I died to my old ways. I had
to do that to let go of what I call here “ The Old Song” in order to be able to live in the present. I
had to give up all attachments to past experiences and old patterns, in order to live once more
with a “New Song”.
I have often been asked from where I summoned the courage and strength to face the
extraordinary journey I have travelled. I am not a religious person in the conventional sense, but
I can say that my faith in the larger scheme of things served me well. The belief in the Creator
and that divine spark which exists in each and every one of us, and the sense that we all have
free will and choice, have carried me through the situations I faced on my path. I have certainly
always believed that our journey, with all its challenges, is about our soul development. And one
thing I know for sure: These spiritual beliefs have served to carry me through the most
demanding times in my life and to finally overcome the challenges faced.
Yet, beyond all belief systemsis the great mystery, which logically and intellectually is
incomprehensible. And experience has taught me to listen with all my being to its magical pull.
By the time we reach 40 most of us have experienced some kind of personal confrontation
within our own identity, whether it is about relationships, health, country, work, the planet, or
faith. When this happens, it is a time for awakening. Crisis is an opportunity for an opening,
through which newness can emerge and break through the old mould, like the baby chick
breaking through its shell with the vital energy of birth and life.
Life has a way of flowing like a river, and we will always have challenges thrust in our direction.
The key message to remember is that you can go through any challenge without it eating you up.
There is a way. And it is a chance to become a deeper, wiser human being through such
experiences. What’s more, it is part of your path of self -realization. You see, I’ve been there,
and even though I was told categorically that I faced certain death within months, here I am
years later to tell you the tale. In fact when I first wrote this book it was 10 years later as the
title suggest, now I’m delighted to say 15 years have passed since the original prognosis was given
to me of 6 months to Live.
I found the prescription for health and well being in the cryptic message of surrender and
created a method releasing all that had passed in order to be present in the moment. The way I
did that is set out in more detail in part 11 of the book called the ‘ The New Song’. Being in
stillness facilitated a listening to the innermost reaches of my soul, and was the sacred place
where I could find my answers. The secret was to be totally honest with myself in each and
every moment, living within integrity. To choose only that which resonated with my being, from
the people around me to the food I ate and beyond. The true medicine on this path and the key
to staying healthy is to leave behind the internal struggle of the mind. Leave guilt, manipulation
and the rest in order to bring peace into your life and go 100% with your chosen method of
healing. Especially when you are facing a health crisis there is no time for half measures.
As I focused laser-beam-like on my personal choice of methods of healing, I was not guided by
whether alternative or conventional methods were better. It was much more important to find
total commitment to a mode that resonated with my whole being and to go for it with focused
intention. Beyond that I needed to consciously jettison all the chatter of my mind in order to
remain in that ‘still’ place where healing can flourish.
During the period that I was experiencing these challenging events, I desperately wanted to find
someone with whom to identify. Years before, jammed in the throes of a chaotic marriage the
urge to write this book was there, but I put the project off while I dealt with everything else
happening in my life.
Later, when I discovered I had cancer I searched far and wide for someone who had been
through this and could inspire me. I wanted to know what had happened to them, if they had
experienced trauma at any point in their life even long before diagnosis. And if so, were they still
hanging on to those emotions from the past? I wanted to know if they chose to take
responsibility for their healing or did they pass that on to the practitioners who were there to
help them? And, what was their story? Was there indeed any heavy stress they had faced just
before prognosis? Had they held on to their old patterns? What was their course of healing and
the process in the health challenges they now had to face? I wanted to know what they felt
during their journey towards well-being and what methods they chose to heal with.
Caught in the midst of crisis, my world and my head were simply not capable of wading through
dry intellectual theories about how to get over trauma or illness. I searched in vain for authors
who were prepared to stand emotionally "naked," who were able to offer a personal account of
their journey, and who were able to describe what, led up to their illness and their healing and
how it could be prevented in the future.
When I couldn’t find what I was looking for, I promised myself that when I recovered I would
write that book. These pages are the result of that promise. I trust that my words will empower
you to heal and grow through the challenges you face in your life.
If my story can offer you inspiration, especially as you face the challenge of adversity, if I can
encourage you to find your own inner resolve and strength, then this book will have achieved its